HSBC “Rgerts to Onform”

I’m always amazed at how much money companies sink into sparkling advertising and PR, but so little into ensuring the emails their staff send and receive reflect the same sheen.

Especially when they call themselves the “world’s local bank”.

Take this recent email exchange with HSBC. I’m a customer, and sometimes use their Premier lounge at Jakarta airport. I’m one of those annoying people who make a point of submitting comments to companies about my experience, even if they’re not solicited.

A few months back I was impressed enough with the Jakarta lounge to send an email to a generic customer relations email address I found here on HSBC’s global site where the page says:  HSBC customers are invited to email customerrelations@hsbc.com.

I can’t remember now what I wrote, but it was complimentary about the initiative of one of the staff, a guy called Musli. I got this back a few days later:

Thank you for your recent e-message.
I have forwarded your email to Jakarta, Indonesia so that your positive comments can be feedback to Musli and their manager.
Thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Great. Just what I wanted. A slap on the back for the little guy.

But a few months later—last week–I had a quite different experience, so I fired off another email to the same address:

Hi, I thought I’d follow up my earlier message about HSBC lounge in Jakarta. Since my last email I feel standards have slipped a bit and the place could do with some attention.

I then went on to detail the slippage: my Premier card, it turned out, wasn’t in itself good enough for Premier lounge, and the staff seemed keener on getting rid of me than seeing whether I carried the magic card. The lounge felt more like a lower tier massage parlor, with four females sitting around the front desk, chatting, giggling, singing karaoke and exchanging backchat with male staff. It got so raucous I and some other travelers went to another lounge to get a bit of peace and quiet.

Anyway, I fired off what I felt was a constructively critical message. I got this back today:

Thank you for your further e-message. I am sorry you have had to contact us under such circumstances.
I rgert to onform you that I am unable to assist you with your complaint.
As you have contacted HSBC UK, we are only able to access accounts held within the UK.
Therefore may I suggest that you contact HSBC Jakarta for them to investigate the issues you have and provide you with a full response.
I apologise for any inconvenience this may cause you.

I wrote back:

Thanks for this, it cheered me up no end. The first time I send complimentary remarks to this email address, and they’re passed on right down to the staff, but when I send criticism you “rgert to onform” that you are unable to assist me.
Lovely stuff. Couldn’t make it up if I tried.

I’m a bit flabbergasted, actually, but I shouldn’t be. It’s pretty amazing that the global email address for customer relations for what is now one of the world’s biggest banks can spew out ungrammatical and misspelled dross like that, but more important, but that the staff member feels able to shunt responsibility back to the customer is shockingly shoddy.

Repeat after me: Every email sent and received by a member of your staff is an ambassador at large for the organization. Mess it up like this one and your whole brand suffers.

(Also being sent to HSBC PR for their comments.)

Where Did That Email Come From?

An interesting new tool from the guys behind the controversial DidTheyReadIt?: LocationMail. (For some posts on DidTheyReadIt, check out here, here, here and here.)

LocationMail tells you where e-mail was sent from. It uses the most accurate data in the world to analyze your e-mail, trace it, and look up where the sender was when the message was sent. Find out where your friend was when she e-mailed you, or where a business contact is really writing from.

LocationMail integrates seamlessly into Outlook or Outlook Express; once installed, it shows you location information next to each message. LocationMail shows the City, State, Country, Company, ISP, and Connection Speed of the sender.

Installs painlessly into Outlook but crashed my Outlook Express. In Outlook a popup window appears with details of where the email was sent from, including the company, location, connection type, domain and IP address. LocationMail does this by using what it thinks is the IP address of the sender and running it through data from DigitalEnvoy and IP registrars. (A fuller explanation is here.) The makers hope to target a range of customers:

With phishing and other forms of Internet fraud becoming more and more problematic, LocationMail protects you from e-mail based frauds. The program can tell you if an email you seemingly received from your local bank was actually sent from a location half way around the globe. By instantly tracing the source of your emails, LocationMail helps keeps you safe from identify thieves. LocationMail lets you identify and eliminate fraudulent transactions from eBay and other Internet-based auction houses.

LocationMail protects companies who accept orders by email. Credit cards are regularly stolen from people in affluent countries, and used for placing online orders by criminals from other countries. By telling you an email’s origination location, the program helps you detect fraudulent inconsistencies.

Whether you’re a business person who wants to keep track of the demographics of prospects and customers, a manager who wants to ensure that incoming email addresses are legitimate and consistent, or a home computer user who is curious about where friends are e-mailing from, LocationMail has the tools that you need.

It costs $30. Another program that does something quite similar is eMailTrackerPro which will also identify the network provider of the sender, including contact information for abuse reporting, and uncovers the ‘misdirection’ tactic commonly used by spammers. Of course, LocationMail may not help that much, since legitimate emails might not, in Internet terms, originate from the place where they should. But it does a pretty good job and is useful if, say, you’re not sure about whether an email is spam or not (it does happen) the fact it originated in Seoul should provide a clue (unless you know lots of people in Seoul, of course).

And most importantly, this isn’t an invasive technology.